Alienation
by BoredGamer
Summary: The search for freedom had been won and time was beginning to heal the old wounds. Newly deviant Connor found himself lost within this peace, subtly outcasted by many of his own, save for a few. Including one in particular, a very stubborn soul who was determined in all she pursued.


He couldn't ask them to forgive; certainly not after all he had done. But that didn't stop the strange new feeling he had been growing accustomed to. It was unpleasant. A quick search suggested it was loneliness; possibly mixed with guilt, and a few other emotions. The temptation to ask Hank about it lingered, but his presence usually brought about an overwhelming sense of warmth and security, to the point Connor would just push the negativity back. Yet, Hank was asleep and here he was, left to his own company once again.

The rooftop of an abandoned apartment was this night's choice for solitude. The gentle breeze could not be felt physically, but Connor's system registered it. That alone had a weird calming effect; very minimal, but it was something. The distant illumination of various neon signs gave him some light, the bright glow scattered across his face in contrast to the dark shroud of night. His arms limp at his sides, eyes focused on nothing in particular, as various buildings decorated his vision.

Connor's mind wondered elsewhere, searching his memories despite how they intensified his current emotions. The looks, the distrust, and sometimes the downright hatred that lined their gaze directed towards him. It wasn't as obvious as when humans whispered to each other, but he was well aware of their telepathic communication. It was understandable, his sole purpose in life had been to hunt them after all.

However, Markus had been more than accepting. Even with a gun directed towards the man and all he seemed to provide was love in return. The leader's optimism and hope in others was rivalled only by key historical figures. Connor could guess Markus' response if he were to confide in him; reassurance that time would mend, that his actions would paint a better picture of who he was now. The man was optimistic to a fault.

His right-hand men had been willing to accept it as well. Even those he wasn't expecting to acquire as friends. At least he hoped to call them such. Josh held the least of his surprise, the man a strong advocate for all things peaceful. His headstrong mentality something one could admire. As for Simon, Connor wasn't sure what he had been expecting. Simon seemed content with the majority of Markus' decisions, and all in all, he just seemed tired. Then there was North, the one who had advocated for a more violent approach…

"I was wondering where you were…"

Speak of the devil.

Connor turned his head towards her, not enough to see but enough to acknowledge. The silence lingered for a moment, North's soft footsteps the only other sound besides the distant city ambience. Not that Connor needed the audio cues to pinpoint her location as he looked fully forward once again. A soft chuckle came from beside him as they stood together, his expression unreadable as North studied him.

"Now where have I seen this before?" She idly mused, a hint of amusement lacing her tone.

Connor locked eyes with her, head tilted slightly as his expression showcased confusion. North shifted her weight, smile widening at his unvoiced question. Her hair blowing into her face as the wind continued to flow past, her hand coming up to brush it back again.

"Markus enjoys brooding on top of rooftops too."

"You two are close…?" Connor trailed off inquisitively.

"So he speaks," North crossed her arms, turning her torso to face him better. Her voice was playful before shifting into disappointment, a dull sadness. "And you could say that…"

"Something happen between you two?" Connor inquired, mimicking her body language.

"You don't need to worry, we're fine…"

"You don't sound too sure."

"He's been off with Simon all day, nothing has happened."

Connor paused a moment, debating if he should press the matter. North was telling the truth, but her tone suggested otherwise. A few more seconds ticked by before he made his decision, glancing out towards the city once again.

"So, how did you find me?" Connor was curious.

"Your fondness for LEDs" North stated smugly.

Connor looked down, examining his clothing. It wasn't his assigned android coat, but it was still a jacket littered with lights. It might be rather counterproductive now that he processed it. The concept of LEDs in his clothing brought an odd sense of comfort, or maybe it was simply his preferred aesthetic. He wasn't too sure on that yet.

"Thank you." North's voice broke him from his thoughts.

"Whatever for?" Connor puzzled.

"What you did…" North shuffled again, smile genuine. "It was suicidal."

"I always accomplish my missions."Connor plainly stated; the statement was spoken friendlier than usual, an air of lighthearted confidence lifting the mood.

"Do you have a mission now?" North inquired.

Connor turned back towards the view, pondering the question. Technically, the lieutenant and him had an on-going case. But what he knew about North had suggested that it wasn't the type of answer she was looking for. No, she would prefer something more personal and had more meaning.

"I don't really know…" The words slipped out, quiet but still heard. "I guess… I just want to find myself."

North nodded, "A common goal amongst our people."

Silence fell between them; comfortable yet heavy with unspoken burdens. The urge to confide in North pushed at his chest, threatening to overwhelm him. Logic dictated otherwise, and left him holding it back to fester instead. North hummed, twisting around to perch on top the building's ledge. Her hands folded in between her knees as she leaned forward, head tilted up to keep eye contact.

"Do you have an idea? About yourself?" She asked softly.

"I'm not sure." Connor finally spoke after a prolonged pause. "I know the simple things, friends, dislikes, likes..."

"What about goals?" North's voice was soft, comforting.

"No." Connor's voice was hushed, words laden with memories. His eyes darted around the landscape as he thought. "What about you?"

"I'm going to continue to help our people. We are recognized, but it'll be a long way until we're truly equal." North spoke.

Connor nodded in understanding. Progress was slow in human nature. Evolution always took time, since the start.

"It's admirable." He spoke, forgetting momentarily that he was speaking and not just thinking. "What you're doing, you are passionate. All of you are ."

North's eyes narrowed slightly, sitting straighter. "Connor?"

"Hm?" He turned towards her fully, awaiting elaboration.

North remained unmoving, anticipation settling between them. Her lips parted as she fought over her next choice of words. A shake of the head broke the pause in time, looking away towards the other end of the roof.

"No, nevermind." She shook her head.

Connor simply watched her, lingering a moment longer before he pressed his lips together and turned back towards the scenery. He wasn't going to push, knowing how it felt to be on the receiving end. He let the silence settle momentarily before speaking again.

"Do you believe that people can change?"

North turned towards him, a thoughtful look dawning her features. "Some…"

The breeze that had been ruffling their clothing and hair went still. A tightness held Connor's chest, one he was not unfamiliar with. But the context was much different than he was used to. Was he afraid of being further shunned? That would not make sense given her friendly nature, so why?

"I used to think humans changed when faced with aggression and fear. But look how wrong I was." North's words snapped Connor back to reality. "Or maybe I just wanted revenge." She chuckled.

"For what?" Connor asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"For enslaving us, abusing and using us like…" North slowly shook her head idly, caught up in memories. Her words fading out as she seemed unable to continue.

Connor gradually unfolded his arms, sitting down beside her with hesitation. His intuition suggested there was something she was hiding. Another reason North didn't want to share, or simply wasn't ready to. Would a shift in subject be the best course of action?

"What about androids?" Connor abruptly asked.

North made a questioning noise.

"Do you think androids can change? Or are we still a slave to our own programming?" Connor plainly inquired.

"I-" North paused, confounded momentarily. "I haven't thought about that before."

"Android related crimes have gone up exponentially, being both the attacker and victim with the new laws," Connor spoke with his usual matter-of-fact tone, a sigh following the words.

"Are you worried?" North asked softly.

"No," Connor stated casually, the matter needing no internal debate. "It is just a thought."

"Then that's not what is on your mind is it?" North puzzled.

"No." Oddly, the concept made Connor smile, "No, it's not."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure," Connor spoke after a moment of thought.

"Well at least you're honest," North laughed, swaying her head lightly before shifting her body to sit sideways. "Well, how about this; we quit brooding on the roof and go somewhere?"

"Do you have a place in mind?" Connor tilted his head, watching her stand, wiping the damp material from her clothing.

"I might know a place…" North nodded her head towards the stairwell, as Connor stood.

"Lead the way." Connor gesticulated forward to emphasize.

* * *

The walk was mostly silent, with casual remarks made towards various landscape details or weird human behaviour to break it up. It was pleasant. The comfortable silence was something Connor appreciated. Light excitement bubbled within his chest, curious towards the location she was leading him to.

Water droplets had begun to fall. Spring showers becoming more common as the seasons changed. Various people without umbrellas hurried towards shelter as the rain picked up. The two continued like usual, others passed by unaffected by the sudden downpour. The weather was one common way to tell humans and androids apart; just by watching their reactions.

It wasn't long before they reached what Connor automatically assumed to be their location. An old metal gate to a fenced off park greeting them. It stood ajar, either by negligence or it was not meant to be locked in the first place. North pushed it open, stepping through as a strained noise sounded from the rusted hinges. He followed, the creaking ceasing as it swung behind them. As scattered branches cracked underfoot, the sudden downpour lessened to a light drizzle.

A playground. That had been North's destination. A small smile came across Connor's lips as he watched her take a seat on the swings, chains protesting. They weren't as loud as the gate had been, seeming to be a newer addition to the park. Connor sat casually next to North, sitting still as he watched her push her swing lightly back and forth. The sight held an odd sense of nostalgia; for what, he had no idea. The sensation feeling out of place, but it was the closest term Connor could find to describe the feeling.

"Sometimes I wish I could have had a childhood," North spoke casually, legs crossed as she built up momentum on the swing.

Connor squinted, clear contemplation across his features. He tried to process the feeling, stimulate it himself, yet he found himself unable to do so. Unable to relate to her longing. He glanced towards her, curious. "Why?"

"They don't worry. They don't need to, the children. They are innocent to it all." North's soft voice returned, the swings pendulum movement faint now. "I can't trust humans yet. But being with children I don't mind."

Connor, unaware of his mouth being slightly agape, lightly nodded. "That is, understandable." He said after a pause, fidgeting in the swing he sat on.

North studied him, making his shuffling worse. The ground seemed momentarily pleasing, his eyes finding their way to the rocks beneath before shifting towards the trees around them. Laughter snapped Connor from his nervous avoidance, his head whipping back to face his companion.

"What?" Connor tilted his head, unable to keep a smile from spreading across his lips at North's amusement.

"Just… you." she breathed out, trying to stifle her giggling.

"I… don't follow." Connor shook his head before leaning forward, torso twisting slightly.

"Your mannerisms. I don't think awkward is quite the word to describe them, but it's close, I'll give you that." North grinned.

"I feel I should be offended by that, Miss." Connor joked casually.

"Oh the ruthless deviant hunter is offended now, is he? My oh my…" North trailed off, obviously joking yet… Connor's artificial heart felt as if it had dropped from its location. His face must have reflected the change as North's teasing body language shifted to a more serious stance. "You know I'm just teasing you, right?" She asked, concerned.

"Yes, of course." Connor mentally winced at his tone, which had come out more automated than intended. An awkwardness settled in the air, lasting momentarily before the clouds above decided to send down another harsh wave of rain. The sudden harsh downpour had no effect on them and yet the phenomenon seemed to bring North's smile back.

"You should come to the next meeting." she pushed her swing back, legs stretched straight.

"I doubt that's a good idea." Connor bluntly stated.

North hummed, appearing to ponder. "I disagree."

"Of course you do," Connor straightened again, lightly pushing himself back and forth.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" North pushed herself back farther, gaining momentum again as she returned to swinging.

"You know what I mean, Miss Revolution."Connor retorted teasingly.

"Miss Revolution… I could get used to that." North humorously pondered.

Connor snickered, "Of course…"

"So…" North dragged out, continuing to swing.

"So?" Connor's brow rose, awaiting further explanation.

"You should come." Was the continued response.

"I'm not coming." Was Connor's answer.

"Yes, you are."

"So I don't have a choice now?" Connor smirked, leaning back.

"Correct," North spoke flatly, almost mimicking him.

"You're ridiculous." Connor laughed.

"And you're ridiculous for not coming."North retorted.

"Why are you so hung up on this?" Connor stressed the question.

"Why are you so hung up on not coming?" North dug her feet into the ground, halting her movement abruptly. She stared at him inquisitively.

"Fine."Connor sighed in fake annoyance. "Fine, I'll come if it makes you happy."

"Good," North rose, clearly proud of herself. "I'll be seeing you soon then."

"That you will," Connor confirmed. His appearance hiding the tightness in his chest. His gaze lingered on North's back as she left, watching until she disappeared from his visuals. Shoulders slumped, Connor watched the empty space North had left, lightly rocking himself.

The rain had slowly died down once again. Leaves rustled in the wind. A soft orange light surrounded Connor, bringing with it the brush of the wind. Maybe he'd come back here next time.  
It was certainly a warmer atmosphere to lose himself, compared to the roof.


End file.
